You know that punchy feeling you get when you’re slammed with stimulation from every which way but not one damn sliver of it actually inspires you?
(Oh, wait, my bad, lovers, that’s every day in this our hyper-charged, bizarre world where we are relentlessly poked and prodded by the media that has somehow managed to photo-shock us straight into the clutches of bogus-ly, passively numb.)
It’s that dull frustration of: different day, same old bullshit “inspirational” quote (that says some mundane, generic thing like “DREAM!” surrounded by smiling stars and scores triple digit likes in under a minute because . . . seriously?)
Sometimes we just want to shake things up, we need to shake things loose, bust out of the monotony, change course, swing left while everybody else is going right, try something new.
Try something bold. Something unconventional. Something that might not work. And it’s the “might not” that gets your limp hairs finally standing on end. You want to do something just for the mystery of it.
You can’t explain it – it just feels delicious.
One side of ourselves (hello, ego, you punk) says making a change is a stupid move, This side of ourselves is busy dumping cold water on our hot adventure of an idea with thoughts like these:
“But that’s not what they expect from you. It doesn’t make sense. It’s not what you started out to do so how will it look if you change / stop / screw up? It’s too late. You can’t change direction now. The only acceptable way forward is the way you’ve been going lest you are admitting defeat / surrender / that what you are doing now isn’t working (HORRORS).”
Then there’s the other side. The side that doesn’t believe in stupid. The side that believes you were made to grow into a bigger version of yourself. This side of ourselves is determined to fly with very cool thoughts like these:
“Hey love, people will say what they want but you know what though? What about the F word? Hmm? What about FUN? What about just follow the joyful idea, the one that lights you up inside, and see what happens?”
Ironically (tragically?) the struggle to decide for bigger joy is very real. We want to reach for what would truly make us happy, but we’re terrified of how that will make us look. (Facebook has trained us to be egotistical maniacs well.)
Stuck in this kind of tug-of-war, we can spend so much time analyzing just to get to the same (boring) answer of “Don’t.” that we stay gruesomely stuck and button things so perfectly up that we succeed only in missing out on all the glory of trying something new.
We deny ourselves the goodness. Why are we so damn afraid to indulge in the doing of what we love just because we love the feel of it, the sound of it, the clever / weird / stealth / not-the-same-old-thing of it?
Who cares about likes / comments / status – none of that means anything if we aren’t ENJOYING OURSELVES, you guys.
(Incredibly important side note, wild things: this is a blog post about making decisions like: “Hey, maybe I should start that crazy ass art blog I’ve been dying to start but I’ve been afraid people will think I’m lame.” NOT: “Hey, I’ve been thinking about ditching my husband / wife / children / financial responsibilities and Allison Marie over at Glorybegin.com seems to think that’s a swell idea so – screw it! I’m out!” We’re talking about creative exploration not the unraveling of lives, you dig?)
We forget that it is perfectly okay to try a thing – to jump in and just see what happens – to let ourselves be alive – be here now.
Somewhere along our little way we stopped taking the beautiful chance of “It feels fresh and new and that sounds fun – let’s just try it and see.”
But this is the juice, the thrill of the creative life we say we want to live, isn’t it?
I didn’t get into making art to feel stifled – lord knows there’s enough rules everywhere else in the universe. I won’t stick around where things are an artistic drag.
Why would you?
Art may just be the last place on earth we can be our most honest, raw, truest selves. We must stay true to that spirit or what are we left with? Another shell? Another shallow, hollow “Dream!” meme?
Your creative life is where you call the shots – all of the shots.
Don’t ever, ever give that up. That’s the lifeblood of an artist, of a creative warrior.
I started writing a blog because I desperately (I’m not even being dramatic, troops – I was clawing my way out of a thing when I started writing again) wanted and needed the freedom and pleasure of creating my own thing in this big world.
So maybe it was just a tiny blip in cyber space but it was my blip damn it and I was going to do it my way. Mine. (Of course, my way at the beginning was to publish a fashion blog on which for the first solid week and a half I did not know how to upload photos. You can imagine the legions of hip and trendy fans I attracted upon launching.)
The tug to try something new is an invitation from the universe for you to play, to move. Because as long as you keep moving you’ll figure it out. You’ll figure out how to upload photos (and take much better ones). You’ll figure out what you like and don’t like, what works and what doesn’t. You’ll figure out your style, your authentic voice.
You’ll figure it out, babe.
Just don’t spend so much time “figuring” that you never let yourself out of the cage.
The Muse moves, morphs, changes. It’s a lover’s game. She keeps you guessing.
For me there is no way to separate my spirituality from my art. When I say Muse I’m saying Angels, I’m saying Intuition, I’m saying Higher Self.
And this Voice, this All Knowing, All Loving, All Encompassing Creative Energy wants me in the game. It needs me in the game.
Any glory I’ve ever known has come from trusting that being loyal to creating with my heart and soul is what being alive is all about. And when it’s time for a change, I move. Most often, stepping into your bigger self isn’t one big giant leap – it’s a million small steps in the directions you believe in.
“It is not sacrifice to wake to glory. But it is sacrifice to accept anything less than glory.”
A Course In Miracles
We need to stop playing so small, so calculated, so much like we’ve got our arms tied behind our backs. If we’re so busy tying ourselves up, how will we ever reach out and touch each other?
Move, babes, move. That’s all I’m saying. Dance, try, stumble, do something that might not work.
Make a choice for your grandeur, your magnitude, your greatness. Step toward what you are dying to become.
“It is essential that you accept the fact, and accept it gladly, that there is no form of littleness that can ever content you. . .
There is a deep responsibility you owe yourself, and one you must learn to remember all the time. The lesson may seem hard at first, but you will learn to love it when you realize that it is true and is but a tribute to your power. You who have sought and found littleness, remember this:
Every decision you make stems from what you think you are, and represents the value that you put upon yourself. Believe the little can content you, and by limiting yourself you will not be satisfied.”
A Course In Miracles
If it’s time for a new direction – it’s time. Believe it. GO for it.
Trust that instinct. The more you do, you’ll see that as you keep moving you’ll get better with it, feel more confident in trusting that you can dance around within your art. You can zig and zag and pull ahead and sneak around from behind.
The creative life is one of expansion – we can’t help but to move out further and further and keep claiming new territory, new land. That’s the freedom we talked about last week. The freedom the artist dares to step into.
After a while, I knew the fashion blog had to morph into something else – I could feel it. I knew that as much as I adored me some killer sexy Stuart Weitzman boots (I mean), I wasn’t obsessed with fashion enough to keep going in that direction. (Obsessed? Yes. Enough? No.)
I was eager and hungry to write and speak for inspiration of the soul, to write about spiritual topics and to expand my reach to all types of artists, creatives and seekers.
So I moved out and moved on. I followed my desire and my heart and kept going.
Because when you move, you create forward motion, you summon and attract momentum. [Click to Tweet]
It doesn’t have to make sense, you don’t have to know where it’s headed, sometimes you just have to choose to do what makes you deeply, genuinely happy.
Remember you, love?
Why did you get into your creative adventure? Is it feeling stale / old / tight / boring / like a “job” instead of like a sensual seduction?
If so, why aren’t you changing things up and stepping into what feels right for you?
What if you just did it?
What if you didn’t have to explain your new move to anyone?
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As always, I thank you for your support & engagement.
It means more than I could ever say.
All my love,
Allison Marie x