// trouble //

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I am, even to myself, a strange and beautiful trouble.

Even in stark stillness I am a relentless expansion, a curiosity, a sin.

I am an indulgence, a soft and ripening ache.

I am a mystery, a wild collection of deranged contradictions to the things you want to see in yourself as you look at me.

I like to stroke a thing until it derails.

Pummel it to the ground and search its insides for clues.

I am the heady aftertaste of the way you are afraid to feel, and I feel deeply, probe hungrily, into those shadowy places you neglect, dismiss, judge, ignore, reject.

Your disturbance electrifies something in my bones, the oddity of you, the unlikelihood of any of this, wets and fills even the driest rivers, sends them rushing back from the dead through me.

I am not a problem. I do not need to be fixed or corrected.

This life – my life – is an ecstatic, rugged, savage territory and I feast upon it all.

Heaven and hell tangle within me, both are teachers, both are guides, both are Love.

Trouble is evolution is freedom is treasure. The most tragic of all are not those who struggle but those who concede.

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My book of poetry, Vein, is now available on Amazon here.

Signed copies are available in my Etsy shop AllisonMariePoetry here.

All my deepest love and mad affection. x

12 thoughts on “// trouble //

  1. VictoryInTrouble

    I love this!! To me it speaks of a person not afraid to be messy, honest, emotional, to make mistakes and laugh out loud. To really get into all the glorious chaos of life and revel in it.

    Reply
  2. Mia

    Allison, beautifully written. Your final line is wonderful, “The most tragic of all are not those who struggle but those who concede.” Please enjoy your day. ~ Mia

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Dear Mia,

      That means very much to me coming from you, thank you.

      Much love and light your way, may you have a most inspired day as well. :)

      Allison

      Reply
  3. lemonadeletter

    “I like to stroke a thing until it derails.”
    For some reason, that’s my favorite line. If you don’t mind, of course, would you tell me why you used that phrase exactly? It’s such an interesting sentiment. Lovely writing. <3

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Ahhh I love that line, too, so much because it sort of just tumbled out on its own. When I re-read it, it reminded me of a cat pawing at a toy or something until it falls or comes undone. I think it’s about curiosity, about tinkering with a thing just to see what happens, what it’s made of, how it works, what it has to tell you. It also felt like a relationship or a conversation, when you keep touching on a subject or an idea until it falls open and shows to you its secrets.

      I’ve rambled, forgive me. I thank you so much for your beautiful comment and thoughtful question. Much love to you. <3

      Reply

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