That Which Needs To Burn: Moving On

2014-12-28 11.39.30

Write.  

Delete.

Write, write, write, write, write.  

Delete, delete, delete.

*cringe*

Delete.

Slicing what doesn’t work off of what does is a tricky skill, an art really. In fact, in some tough cases, doing so is nothing short of valiance.

It’s possible to put so much precious time, energy and talent into building something – a piece of writing, a relationship, a job, a project, a way of life – that we have an immensely difficult time letting go of what just doesn’t fit.

We hang on to the dead weight because we convince ourselves that dropping it would be a waste of all we did to build our thing.

The trouble is though, that the energy is already spent; you already invested the time and talent. So whether you hang on to what doesn’t work or you let go of it, it’s still done. It still doesn’t fit.

To become the person we wish to become we’ll need to leave some worn out stuff behind. We know what it is, too. It’s the stuff that feels numb-heavy and draining. It’s the robotic stuff, the thick stuff we trudge through mindlessly without purpose or direction.

The stuff we got into because we used to believe a certain thing, or hope a certain way, or draw conclusions from a different place inside. The stuff that was once new when we were in a different place.

You don’t need to ditch the whole piece of writing (maybe you do) but you need the clarity to trim the bits that drag it under.

You don’t need to dump the whole relationship (maybe you do) but you need the guts to come clean about what isn’t working, to get rid of the old patterns that are draining the life out of it.

You don’t need to leave the company (maybe you do) but you need the wisdom to know when to kill off the old habits that are keeping you stuck in a dead end position.

What got you there before won’t get you there next.  ‘There’ is different now.

“That which needs to burn, let it burn. If the idea doesn’t serve you, let it go. If it separates you from the moment, from others, from yourself, let it go.” – Russell Brand

Once you are clear about what you are trying to create from where you are now – what kind of life, what kind of experience – you’ll know what fits and what doesn’t.

You’ll know what to keep and what to delete.

Sometimes even more important than what you build is what you burn.

 

~ ~ ~

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© 2014 Allison Marie Conway at Glory Begin

36 thoughts on “That Which Needs To Burn: Moving On

    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Oh yes, dear Val, our precious hearts – too often we give them so little credit for all they know. ;)

      Love that you love this! Thank you, friend. And a Happy New Year to you.

      Peace, always,

      Allison

      Reply
  1. Emilio

    You have articulated what I have been aware of, and have been
    repeating, for many years. I was in a 4 year relationship and we had talked of marriage but I was not happy. I finally told her and we broke up. It was a difficult time for me but I came out of it stronger. Two years after that breakup I met my future wife. We have been married now for a little over two and a half years.

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Emilio,

      Wow, that’s a tough thing to do in a relationship. I guess there is something in us that knows when it’s time to stay or go – and bravo to you for trusting your instincts.

      In the end, I think the pain is worth dealing with head on so we can move on.

      I wish you (and your wife!) a very beautiful and joyous 2015! ;)

      Peace to you, always,

      Allison

      Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Hello, hello beautiful! Haha, yes that old ‘write, write, delete’ dance is one writers know all too well. I won’t even tell you how much of it it took to get this post out! ;)

      I’m really glad this resonated for you – that’s the very best I can ever hope for, thank you so much, friend.

      Here’s to a peaceful, strong and joyous New Year,

      Let’s rock and roll . . .

      Allison XO

      Reply
  2. Lydia

    As usual, great post. For me, in the past, the decision to burn has been easier, than the future realization that I made a mistake — that weighs on your mind.

    Happy New Year, dear friend. May your year be a continuation of all the great things that you’ve done, you groovy, peace-loving woman. :) Blessings, peace and Namasté, lydia

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Hello gorgeous Lydia,

      I am so glad to see you! I hope you had a most joyous season with love, love, love all around.

      I definitely hear what you are saying about the burn, the mistake, the weight. All cycles of learning, I guess. I feel like this year is one where I need to get closer to my intuition, listening to the inner voice to guide what to hold and what to burn. It’s a practice, right. ;)

      Happy New Year to you, my sweet, stellar and soul-special friend. I can’t wait to see what we get ourselves into this year, haha. I have a feeling it’s about to get REALLY good!! ;)

      Peace, strength and joy to you always,

      Namasté,

      Allison

      Reply
    2. Allison Marie Post author

      Interesting thought I just had – maybe its random but I wanted to run it by you because I always love your insights: you mention the ‘weight’ of maybe regretting a mistake. . . maybe the regret is the thing that needs to be burned? A forgiveness perhaps?

      Maybe part of burning is to forgive ourselves, to let go in that way.

      Anyway, just a thought, my dear friend.

      Peace to you, love, always. :)

      Reply
  3. Meg Evans

    So very true! Sometimes that old stagnant stuff isn’t even being consciously kept. It builds up for no better reason than simple inertia, with things seeming to fit just because they once did. When our circumstances change gradually, our brains get tricked into not noticing any difference. Mental clutter, physical clutter, it’s all the same — our homes and minds fill up with stuff that became totally useless long ago, but we haven’t updated our mental maps enough to realize it. A healthy life does indeed require making regular use of that delete key, along with its physical equivalents — trash bags, recycle bins, donation boxes, and so forth. Happy 2015 to you!

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Hello hello, dear Meg,

      I love your comment! Especially this: It builds up for no better reason than simple inertia, with things seeming to fit just because they once did.

      You are right on the money I think – it’s the gradual stuff, the ‘mental clutter’ just as you say. And it isn’t apparent at first so we keep getting deeper in until we haven’t the foggiest idea how we got there.

      So much loving how you tie this concept also into the physical aspect – a full on de-clutter. Actually sounds like a brilliant start to a fresh New Year – donation boxes and all!

      Thank you so much for your thoughts, I am so grateful. And I wish you a stellar 2015, my friend.

      Sending much peace, joy and grooviness your way! ;)

      Allison

      Reply
  4. Chey

    That last line is powerful! We allow things into our lives so easily and then we hold on with an iron grip even if we really don’t like it. It’s madness really! I’m calling my own self mad because I have some serious letting go to do! I’ll get there!
    I really like the way you put this!

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Hello hello Chey,

      Madness it is and yet ironically, we always mean so well! Trust, I’ve totally been there and there’s always more ways I’m learning I need to let go of old patterns and ways of living in the past.

      In some ways I just feel like – if it’s a drag on my spirit, it’s gotta GO, baby. (easier said than done, yeah?)

      Thank you for your energy! Here’s to a fresh New Year, my dear friend.

      Peace, always, always,

      Allison

      Reply
  5. Wendell A. Brown

    Wonderful message Allison, let it go, all old things that keep you from blossoming fully within and out…you will find a new freedom which you will relish as your heart, spirit and soul become renewed as never before. May your new year be a very amazing one my sister Hugs and blessings!

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Dear Wendell,

      Thank you so very much for your beautiful comment! When I read your words I can feel the gentleness and passion come through and I am so grateful to you for it.

      Renewal is an exquisite thing and I say cheers to those who are brave enough to surrender to it.

      I wish you a brilliant year, dear friend and brother. A year filled with abundance, renewal, joy and peace.

      Peace, always, peace in the blossoming, ;)

      Allison

      Reply
  6. Rajagopal

    Reduce, delete, trim, update and refine are certainly the pieces that matter on the chess-board of life and creativity. No matter how valuable and relevant the piece was at one point, we need to let it go to let what needs to be, be. What in nature is a piece of stone becomes a work of art only after the sculptor chips away the excessive and irrelevant portions and arrives at the grand form…happy to start 2015 with this comment on yours, dear Allison…Raj.

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      My dear, dear friend,

      I love your words! Thank you so much for them, Raj. I love this, “chess board of life and creativity” a lovely image and a challenging one at that.

      It is so interesting you mention a stone and the chipping away – that is so beautiful. It can be tough to whittle away what is keeping us from shining but it is so often necessary. It helps us emerge as the masterpieces we are. ;)

      Blessings, love and peace to you, my friend,

      Here’s to a brilliant 2015,

      Allison

      Reply
  7. Robert

    Yes, we need to ruthlessly trim the ‘flab’ and let go of what isn’t working. It can be difficult when we have invested a lot of time and effort into something and the hardest thing to do it with is a relationship. I think when you’ve been through that, as I’m sure most of us have, the rest of it comes a little easier :)

    But it has to be done, whether it be a relationship, a work of art or a career, if it isn’t working it will hold us back, burn it down and move on!

    Namaste my dear friend,

    Robert

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      I agree with you, Robert, in relationships it is the hardest thing of all. It’s where all our fears and vulnerabilities play out full force, isn’t it? It can definitely be the very hardest place to come forward in truth, the fear of rejection and being rejected, all the ‘stuff’ we bring into the partnership.

      And just as you said, most of us have absolutely been there, myself included for sure. Relationships are some of our greatest teachers if we allow them to be, right.

      Here’s to the burn, dear one, wherever it needs to be done. An end, a beginning.

      Peace and love, always,

      Namaste,

      Allison

      Reply
  8. Dilip

    A great learning dear Allison on a philosophy close to my heart! “Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness” says Thich Nhat Hanh. Yet I ask myself why is it so difficult to let go???

    Cheers for a very Happy New Year Allison :)

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Dear, dear Dilip,

      I love that you mention freedom and happiness! And I love this quote you share because for some reason I think we forget our freedom to choose joy by letting go of pain. Freedom is so very precious, maybe more so than any other thing.

      I know just what you mean, my friend! It can be so hard to let go even when we know inside it’s time. I guess the known feels safer than the unknown.

      Takes a good bit of faith to move on, too, yeah?

      Thank you, Dilip, for your bright spirit and your beautiful words. I’m so happy to see you here again. ;)

      Cheers to a peaceful, joyous and strong year ahead!

      Allison

      Reply
      1. Dilip

        Thank you dear Allison for your beautiful and wise response to my question. Yes it’s all about FAITH and this I need to remember :)

        With kindest regards and best of wishes!

        Reply
  9. Tish Moon

    What a prophetically timed entry… ! Shall we add mind reading to your list of accomplishments, then ? =) Beautiful, concise and brilliant… killer combination. Thanks so much… !! =)

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Hello beautiful Tish Moon,

      I love your amazing comment!! Thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to connect. I can’t even tell you how very grateful I am to know this resonated for you. That’s the BEST. :)

      That which needs to burn, my friend, let it burn.

      I wish you a most beautiful and joyous 2015! And I look forward to inspiring you further as best I can that’s a promise.

      Peace and light, always, always,

      Allison

      Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Dear Laura,

      You are so right, indeed, it can be very scary. We get used to holding on, don’t we? And dropping the weight can sort of be like dropping a cloak – there we are exposed and vulnerable.

      It takes a brave person to do it in many cases. But yes, liberation is empowering!

      Thank you so very much for your beautiful comment. :)

      Peace to you,

      Allison

      Reply
  10. Jackie

    Lovely Allison. You and Russell Brand are in perfect sync here.
    I wonder if I could donate the deleted parts to a worthy cause a bit like we do old hair that’s been chopped at the hair salon. There’s just so much of it! I delete therefore I am. Surely it could serve someone else. Could we burn it as energy, use it to turn wind towers..? Although I guess every word I write after hitting Delete is a form of recycling so the old words are not lost.
    Thanks for always making me think–although I can never guarantee the form my thoughts will take :-)

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Hello, hello dear Jackie,

      Do you suppose I should begin speaking with the clicky British accent? I do a fine one, I swear! ;)

      I LOVE your idea of donating the deleted bits! You always get me thinking, my friend, haha that’s fantastic. Tell me, what do you do with the fabric that doesn’t go into a dress or garment? Perhaps we could start quilting our discarded words . . . keep us warm in the evenings, yeah?

      Please never stop sharing your trains of thought . . . they make me smile so.

      Big love, big hugs, big ideas,

      and peace, always peace. ;)

      XO

      Reply
  11. Carol B. Sessums

    True enough, my dear sister. I have a ton of trimming away that which no longer serves me. I’ve done well with many things that were bringing me down, making my heart heavy. Now, I have more trimming in store. Wonder if I’ll ever get through trimming and when I do, will I have anything left.

    I need to simplify my life and I suppose less is more. So if we know it’s good for us, why does it hurt so much? Got rid of the hub and though it was difficult, I’m way happier now and much more peaceful. Got rid of the attorney job and I’m soooo much happier without that! Miss the money but that’s all. Happiness and peace is worth way more.

    Trying to throw away too much crap in this house. I feel like a hoarder! I’m the same with words. I trim but keep them in a separate file as if those words are too precious to trash. I spent my blood, sweat and tears on those words. Okay, maybe not blood. I can’t toss them?! Well, sure I can. Less is more. I keep telling myself that. I’m trying to talk myself into it. Less. Lesssss. Less is MOooooore!

    Thanks! Another inspiring read!! Love ya sista! xoxo

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Beloved Carol B,

      You are a pioneer woman and an inspiration! How very much you’ve created as well as shed. So very brave and I can only imagine what strength it took to simplify and move on with each new decision. Bless you, love, seriously.

      I wonder, too, what will be there when I shed the things that no longer serve to help but to haunt. I can only trust that within us we know, somewhere in our divine bits, that all we need we have and most everything else is a distraction from a peaceful center.

      Thank you so much for your gorgeous comment and beautiful spirit!

      Big love your way, you know it sister. ;)

      Peace, always, peace. xoxo

      Reply
  12. Gem Anthony

    A lesson everyone needs to learn, albeit one that can be difficult in so many ways. Holding on to what doesn’t fit, to what is unhealthy, to what no longer makes us smile… it’s simply baggage that can weigh us down and prevent us from moving forward.

    Reply
    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Dear Gem,

      Thank you so much for your beautiful comment. You are so right and I love how you say “to what no longer makes us smile.” That is really the truth, isn’t it?

      Following our joy is the way to go but oh how we resist it. ;)

      Wishing you much peace and happiness along your journey, my friend.

      Peace, always,

      Allison

      Reply

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