Tag Archives: style

How to Love Yourself to Victory In Times of Great Struggle

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It kind of feels like a punishment instead of a help when you are in the midst of what seems like a major existential crisis and the only slim advice you get is “relax” or “it will all be okay” or “the universe has your back.”

It feels like you’re bloody (bloody, tho?) doomed, in a way, when you’re bombarded with these disjointed pop-spiritual messages that sound as though all you have to do is simply fit in to an angel-cookie-cut-out version of the higher truth or plug-in to some secret code for self-love that everybody else seems to have figured out but you.

One of the things I rail against is being told how it is, how it has to be, how it’s always been. I’m not interested in being force-fed (or force feeding anyone else, frankly) a slew of complicated systems or beliefs or rules. I want, desire and actively seek out a spiritual connection that works.

That’s why when I delve into spiritual (and creative) study / reading / practice / action, I consciously try to be sure I approach with a mindset of willing openness, of loving curiosity, of a strange sort of reverent playfulness.

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Why Creative Freedom May Be Holding You Back

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There is something an artist does bravely, without asking and without being told.

There is no instruction manual on how to do this thing right or how to ensure it is “successful” by the world’s standards.

And yet just doing this one thing is reason enough for an artist to call himself a success.

It is the reason she does her most soulful, moving and beautiful creative work.

It’s happening now all across the world. You might be doing it.

In fact, I KNOW most of you are doing it (and doing it damn well, by the way, lovers, bravo).

What is this elusive thing the artist dares to do?

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How to Get the Love You Desire (Fast & Easy)

We have to do more.

Right? I mean, what we’ve done isn’t enough.

Right? Because we’re still lost and confused and aren’t exactly sure what we’re doing or should do next (quite possibly it’s chocolate, though, whatever the fuck it is).

On some existential level (and to sort of box up our random idiotic cravings and shove them under the proverbial bed) we simmer all this vague “needing” to do the “more” down to “needing more love.”

We seek for love.

Don’t we?

We look for love in everything – we want love from our family, our dog, our kids, our killer abs, our boy/girl/friend’s killer abs, our talent, our blog, our followers, our art, our sex, our fantasies, our work, our homes, our partner, our vibrator, our new haircut (no, you look so cute tho, seriously).

But love isn’t any of those things (okay, maybe we’re on the fence about the vibrator but let’s try to focus, kids).

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How Deep Is Your Love? The Art & Struggle of Surrender

We don’t want to give it all up.

As sexy as it sounds to surrender ourselves, we’re terrified of what it would mean to actually do it completely.

As lovely as it rolls across the mind to say we will surrender, we don’t often (ever?) intend to give up the struggle and inhabit the peace of mind we say we want.

It’s just not that easy.

What if I invited you to consider that this poem . . .

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How to MAJORLY Build Your Self-Confidence by Doing This ONE Badass Thing

Right, so we’ll get to building your sexy ass confidence in just a second, good friend.

First tho, here’s a fun trick to try if you’d like to test your creative confidence; publish a blog post about erotica, get everybody all seduced and lathered up, and then come back a week later and publish another blog post.

About anything.

About anything else.

Post about something else – after riffing about touching and stroking and fingering – and expect anyone to give a shit about what could possibly come after all that goodness.

I hear you. I know. But never fear, my love. I’ve got you. I am not afraid.

I have something even hotter to talk about this week, if you can possibly fathom that (I realize a blogger with any sense at all would be concerned about deliberately stacking this kind of dangerous pyramid scheme of expectations but nobody’s here to play it safe, I sincerely hope).

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Erotica: Finding Pleasure in the Essential Art of Touch

Fair warning, lovers: This one will be very different from the others. (Are you reading this at the office, by the way? Because you might not want to be reading this at the office. But then again, maybe you really do.)

Consistency is divine but so is disruption. So is surprise.

This post is not about how to’s or fixing or changing anything. It’s about feeling.

Feeling. Everything.

Feeling, it seems to me, is a precious and increasingly scarce form of artistry. People are numbed out all over the damn place trying to avoid feelings of pain but also, in more cases than we seem to realize, trying to avoid feelings of good honest organic pleasure (because, you know, the guilt and the guilt and the guilt and everything – and then there’s the guilt).

Odd things, we.

Maybe it’s better (more accurate? more tragic?) to say that avoiding our feelings has become a twisted art form in itself.

Somehow, in these overcharged, overstimulating, hyper-sexed times, we end up numb and ashamed when all we really crave is to be touched and awakened.

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3 Ways to Start Doing the Work You REALLY Want To Do

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Allison Marie for glorybegin.com

A weird thing happens to otherwise normal people when we attempt to level with each other about work.

People seem to act like if they were to start doing the work they truly loved, other people will think they are colossally selfish / stupid / immature and begin throwing themselves out of seven story buildings or lighting themselves on fire in protest.

We act like if we want to be artists we’ll need to prove we’re “allowed” by only doing what we long to do as a “nice hobby” or in a damp cellar by dank (dank?) candlelight where no one has to see us in all our crazy.

We seem to think that if we were to work on something that we totally dig, this may simultaneously cause our families to implode, our lovers to walk out, our children to disown us, our very physical security to be threatened by some invisible bully.

We think we don’t deserve it. We think they can’t handle it. We think it has to be a big fucking deal and we’ll need to ceremonially trade in everything we’ve earned in our entire lives up to this point in exchange for the right to pursue our creative passions.

But you know what actually happens to us and to other people when we finally dare to start working on our dream?

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