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(Hey there, gorgeous, Listen, before this gets any more compromising, I should probably warn you: This post is a bit longer than permissible by socially acceptable blogging standards. We all know the ‘proper’ length of a blog post has already been decided for us and nailed to the cross of 1000 words max, so have decreed the blogging gods. But here’s what: I’m not interested in appeasing them today. Not today. Today I need this – this whole ravenous thing – and I need every sexy, lengthy, stubborn inch of it. If you come with all the way, I will love you forever in a place warm and intimate and eternal. It will be glorious. So. You wanna?)
The writer in me wanted to scratch apart what I’m about to share and then patch it back together; make it – you know – “better.”
Maybe twist it inward then unravel it again; thread a few more thoughts through it and slide a few others out.
But then I realized that this thing wasn’t really mine to begin with so who was I to monkey around with it?
Below is a post that fell out of me onto social media in one of those “Ah Ha!” moments where the clouds ceremoniously part and the dazzling light warmly aligns your vision and you finally see Everything clearly and exactly as it always was, but with the clouds and the fog and everything before, well, you were just kind of screwed.
People often ask me why I study and practice the metaphysical teachings of A Course In Miracles and the answer is quite undramatically, unimpressively, unassumingly simple: It works.
By that I mean: it gets me to the peace.
I truly believe that this is the single most important measure of a working spiritual practice. Is it getting you to a place of deep internal peace. Everyone’s path and practice will be rich and different and special, but as long as it gets one to the peace, all is solid with the Universe.
But if your spiritual path doesn’t lead you to peace? It’s not working.
Feeling a little punchy, right? A little bit restless? Kinda like you should be someplace . . . else. Doing something . . . else. Working on anything . . . else.
Worried that you should be a little bit farther along, maybe? Because here – wherever here is – is just not cutting it. Here seems like it’s not enough.
Not enough by a long shot.
Yeah, I totally get that. I often feel that way myself. Despite my otherwise pulled-together, elegant exterior (no really, I swear) in the privacy of my own mind I can be fairly damn pushy.
The good news, though, is that you needn’t feel this wretched friction. And I needn’t feel this wretched friction either. In eight simple words, we can release ourselves from all of this murkiness and get about our days (lives) with peace and confidence.
After it was over, all I could see was light. All I could feel was light. All I could be was light.
She was pure love energy, radiant fascinating white, like staring directly into the center of a star without the sting. My eyes were closed.
I could make out just enough of her: the gentleness along the curve of her back as she knelt before me. The giant fluid outline of what could have been the perfect wings. Her hands held mine as my arms were spread open in meditation.
In one weightless, slender movement both of her thumbs slid down the length of the inside of my willing arms, elbow to wrist, opening me up. As the white of my skin parted into the white of her glow she poured cascades of endless light like tranquil liquid pools into me.
One of the biggest keys to receiving spiritual guidance is getting out of your own way in order to allow the universe’s message to come through.
Too often we are so obsessed with getting to the ‘right’ answer that we attempt to force it or try to concentrate on dragging it forward.
Even with good intentions (we do, in our blessed heart of hearts, really want peace), we let our chatty, chomping thoughts trample all over the beautiful silence with our own messy projections, judgments, cares, worries and imagined fears.
This is not guidance, of course.
This is madness.
Loving guidance will not feel strained. It is not about having to be in control. It is not a cosmic race to get to the answer first or fastest. Love waits on welcome, not on time.
“So you ask for a hotter fire, a fiercer confrontation. Even though this is often painful rather than pleasurable, it’s all right, for you are reaching toward that freedom which lies beyond pleasure and pain. When you want to burn away the grip of your ego on your awareness you’ll endure whatever is needed to clean up your life.” – Ram Dass
A spiritual journey gets hardcore when your commitment to it rises above all else. As you come to realize that everything is a spiritual experience – every encounter, every relationship, every problem, every joy – you are inevitably confronted with the heavy stuff, the seedy stuff you need to fundamentally change about the way you view the world and your role in it.
Me and my monkey mind 6.23 minutes into my daily 11 minute meditation session:
My back is not straight — hold up — OK, OK. Now I’m straight, OK. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Man my head is killing me what the — ssshhh . . . breathe, breathe, breathe . . . should I be using a different mantra? . . what am I looking for . . . I really need answers to come through, this connection is a train wreck I can’t . . . breathe, breathe, breathe . . . God, I’m so messed up today, I’m screwed, I’m spacing out, I’m stressing out, I feel strung out on life and this was supposed to HELP and now I feel like a DISASTER in life and a TORNADO in meditation and I’ve pretty much had it I’m not even kidding right now. Please help. PLEASE. HELLO. CAN I GET SOME HELP HERE. PLEASE.
At about 7.14 minutes I cut bait, pull the plug. Something’s gotta give.