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You would think an artistic success would be a good thing, right?
You would think that to be celebrated for your great work and your creative elegance would be just the very thing you need to keep you going. It would be sparkled and engaging and open you up even more widely, more broadly, more deeply to your art.
More likely, though, it will stop you dead in your tracks.
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You put yourself in front of them and you forgot your lines.
Who do you think you are? How could you do this to us?
What gives you the right to put yourself in front of us?
This is why we worry about taking the stage. We fear we’ll be all shaky and nervous and clumsy and in the spotlight and everyone will see our ridiculousness and we’ll get hot and red and sweaty and then we’ll freeze.
So, afraid to freeze in public, we freeze instead in private. We stay stuck, we don’t move, we stiffen instead of reach.
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I didn’t edit this. It is not the kind of thing to be edited.
It’s a different kind of thing, it’s a way of communicating that I’m learning (or maybe re-learning) beyond the five senses. There is another plane, of course, a more expansive plane.
There is another way, an ultimate way, the only way.
A way to be love and to be in love. To channel real Love.
All there is, all that exists is Love.
Art delivers the truth out of us.
That’s why we fear it.
That’s why we crave it.
Something about the way creation has to come about that demands surrender, demands not just a letting go but a not-holding-back.
Something.
In that you are never alone when you are creating art. It’s not a thing you can pull off singly.
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Every time we create something and share it, we’re the new kid.
We don’t know if we’ll be accepted or liked. We don’t know if our thing will go right or wrong or if what we’re offering will work.
We’re afraid of being rejected by others and maybe most of all by ourselves.
We’re the underdog, the novice, the dark horse. We’ve got more spirit than credentials.
But we’re also too prickly to stay put, we’re too eager to wait to be told it’s time and we’re allowed and we’re the one.
Somehow – despite not understanding all the rules and not knowing exactly the lay of the land or all the implications of what we’ve begun – we’re doing it. We’re bringing it and making it happen.
And somewhere inside our wandering hearts we know we’re the lucky ones. The ones who hold the secret. The ones who spin the magic and bend the light.
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© 2014 Allison Marie Conway at Glory Begin
(Transcript below)
Welcome, welcome you gorgeous angels, you incredibly gifted artists. I am Allison the creator of Glory Begin and your host for these podcasts. Thank you so much for being here today. I am super excited to get knee deep, maybe even shoulders deep, what the hell let’s go all in, let’s plunge in, to the topic of your creative sanctuary.
There is a vast open space within you that is so intriguing, so mesmerizing and so mysterious that it pulls at you all the time. Within every one one of us there is this warm, dark and joyous place where our inner most secrets and creative visions are gnawing to come out and play. You feel this right, sometimes?
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Meditation In Difficult Situations
Allow yourself to sit comfortably in your meditation space.
Close your eyes and relax your whole body.
Take a deep breath in your nose and exhale fully out your mouth.
Sit up with your spine straight and palms facing up, calm and alert to receive the loving energy that will come forward in this meditation.