Hardest in Love: When It’s Hot, When It’s Fierce

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“So you ask for a hotter fire, a fiercer confrontation. Even though this is often painful rather than pleasurable, it’s all right, for you are reaching toward that freedom which lies beyond pleasure and pain. When you want to burn away the grip of your ego on your awareness you’ll endure whatever is needed to clean up your life.” – Ram Dass

A spiritual journey gets hardcore when your commitment to it rises above all else. As you come to realize that everything is a spiritual experience – every encounter, every relationship, every problem, every joy – you are inevitably confronted with the heavy stuff, the seedy stuff you need to fundamentally change about the way you view the world and your role in it.

It can be excruciatingly tough to face and forgive yourself for all kinds of madness: jealousy, hatred, anger, judgment, abuse, greed. We’d rather not look at those marks on our own mind.

But only through forgiveness will we see that the things that trip us up the most – that keep us from our grandest expression – are just illusions born of fear, not the reality of love.

“Fear condemns and love forgives. Forgiveness thus undoes what fear has produced, returning the mind to the awareness of God. For this reason, forgiveness can truly be called salvation. It is the means by which illusions disappear.” – A Course In Miracles

Unearthing the ways in which we are weak, the ways in which we need help, the ways in which we cling to fear in spite of ourselves, becomes the fire through which we are made to walk.

Our egos will resist the blaze. Ego will convince us we can’t handle that kind of penetrating purification, that without all of our petty bullshit addictions to what harms us and keeps us small, we’ll be nobody.

That without all of our complications, worries, anxieties and obsessions we won’t exist.

But the truth is that by surrendering the heaviest parts of our self-loathing over to Love, we become infinitely more powerful, not less. Strikingly more present and alive, not invisible.

Birthing our personal truth isn’t pretty; it’s a rugged process and it’s hard. If we are more concerned with being perfect than being real, we will never get there.

One of the wildest things that strikes me repeatedly as I continue to write about and explore spirituality and creativity is the inseparable connection that seems to exist between the two. I am constantly convinced that to walk the artist’s path is to walk the soul’s path, every step.

Both ask of us surrender and commitment.  Both offer a ceremonial healing of sorts, a walk through the ferocious fire.

Both, about learning to love ourselves in all the ways that break us down.

In talking about the process of writing his most recent album, Mutineers, British singer-songwriter David Gray describes the gut-wrenching creative stretch he’d not been ready to put himself through until it was time to create this album.

His words touch beautifully on his personal journey of soul and sound:

“Out of the apparent traumas of that procedure “tears, furniture getting thrown,” something more sublime began to emerge. “I was reaching, I was feeling for things rather than knowing and placing, and something far more interesting happened, and there’s such an authority about any recording that’s made in the heat of the moment when you’re actually discovering it as you’re recording it.” – from David Gray’s website

It’s tough to expel the demons even as you’d like to cling to them; to release the illusions and accept the light and grace of who we truly are. To get to the ultimate freedom that lies beyond pleasure and pain.

But getting past the burn, getting to that rare freedom, is what allows us a command, an authority over the development of ourselves, our purpose, and our craft.

Incredibly, it’s not the least bit easy to fall hard in love with yourself.

I guess we can smile, though, that the Universe has one hell of a sense of irony.  ;)


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14 thoughts on “Hardest in Love: When It’s Hot, When It’s Fierce

  1. ilyas

    Allison you inspire me, thank you for this pearl. Exactly what I needed along my journey right now. A confirmation of contemplations.

    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Dearest Ilyas,

      You inspire me as well, my good friend. I am humbled to have your beautiful comment and I am so very, very glad to hear that this one found you when and where you needed it. That is perfect.

      So much love and light your way, always. Namaste.

  2. Tiffany Panza

    Hi Allison,

    We seem to be on a similar path. I love how you see the parallels between creativity and spirituality. I needed that reminder this morning.



    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Hello, hello Tiffany,

      Thank you so much for taking the time and care to leave such a beautiful comment, I really appreciate that! I’m so grateful that this message hit home for you – that is the BEST.

      And I am humbled to know that we are walking a similar path, soul-sister. Stay brave and amazing. ;)

      Big hugs back,


  3. Amy

    Allison, absolutely right on post. It all begins by LOVING self!! Keep on shining and keep on writing truth! I am right now, reading “Heart Whispers” and really LOVING what you have written. May your day be Blessed. Love, Amy

    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Dear beautiful Amy,

      Thank you so much for taking the time and care to leave such a gorgeous comment! It means more than I could ever say. I’m thrilled this post resonated for you. That is the BEST.

      And thank you from the depths of my heart for letting me know you are reading Heart Whispers – it is such a very special thing when someone truly connects to what we create, it is humbling indeed. I am beyond grateful to you, my sweet friend. I hope the words serve you well along your sacred journey. ;)

      Sending you so much love and peace, today and always,


    1. Allison Marie Post author

      It’s so true, your questions are dead on, my friend. It starts within, all of it. All we can do and all we become starts inside with love. ;)

      Blessings your way, always,


  4. Donna Cameron

    Hi, Allison – another lovely and powerful post … thank you. Your comment that everything is a spiritual experience reminded me of one of my favorite quotes. I think it may resonate with you, too:
    “The way we live our life is our spiritual practice–no more, no less, nothing but, nothing else.” (Robert Corin Morris). Best wishes for continued glorious discoveries along the path…

    1. Allison Marie Post author

      Hello, hello beautiful Donna,

      Thank you so very much – I am always so happy to hear from you and to know that a post really hits home. That’s the BEST.

      I adore this quote you shared. Adore it! It is spot on, isn’t it. The way we live. I am tucking this one in close. ;)

      And I send you so much peace and light along your journey as well, my friend.

      Always, always,



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