I will always be a problem for you.
Because I will always get back up.
And I will get stronger every time.
I will always choose love over and over again.
But you never count on this do you, baby?
Even after all the times we’ve gone around and around.
I will always forgive myself.
I will always forgive you.
I will always forgive them.
I will always pay attention.
I will remain sharp and clear and alert.
I may not win every time at first, but I will win every time.
I will always come back home. I will always set my eyes on the light.
And even on my knees I will reach for the sky.
I will find you and I will call you out. I will take the pain rather than go numb.
I will unravel your games even as you re-invent the same shit over and over again.
I will always be Strength, even when I slip up.
I will always be the Truth, even when I hide my eyes.
I will always be Love, even when I make mistakes.
I will always be the Way, even when I’m lost.
I will see you. I will recognize you for what you are and I will choose release for both of us.
I will not always need you but you will always need me.
This is why I’m trouble. This is why you will always have a problem.
And your problem will always be me.
This is a letter I wrote to my ego a few days ago. Also, luckily, that doesn’t sound certifiably insane.
Right? Writing a letter to yourself from yourself? Not nuts, guys? ( . . . you guys?)
Only that’s not actually what this is. It’s not a letter from myself to myself.
It’s a letter from my Self to my self.
There is a difference so profound there that it’s hard (maybe impossible) to grasp unless you write it down. Two conflicting levels of consciousness exist within us all our lives and they are in near constant contest with one another.
The voice of the ego is insatiable and bottomless, always always always demanding one repetitive, exhausting, ridiculous thing: MORE.
That’s its entire game plan. Every play, every move, every shuck, every jive (seriously?), every strategy.
“You think that everyone outside yourself demands your sacrifice, but you do not see that only you demand sacrifice, and only of yourself.”
A Course In Miracles
According to ego, no matter what is going your way or what you have accomplished or what your ambitions are, more of your self-worth must be called into question in order to bind you eternally to fear.
This is where ego likes you: where he can see you and you can’t see anything.
And all ego ever wants is the same: More. More attention, more love, more pretty, more money, more dazzle, more flash, more competition, more confusion, more power, more stuff, more better, more sacrifice, more pain, more chaos. Never enough.
More more more more more more.
( . . . more.)
The other Voice of course we know, is Love. Love is the voice of peace and enough and rest.
The other Voice is the voice of our higher Selves.
It is the Guide, it is the endless, limitless expanse of Love that never leaves, never demands, never denies, never fails, never attacks. Love knows only that you are complete and perfect in its perfection.
Love is All. There is no more. Love is abundance itself. And this is the only choice we ever truly make in any given moment: the choice to place our trust in Love or to place our trust in fear. There is no straddling, there is no partial choice. It’s All or nothing.
“You must choose between total freedom and total bondage, for there are no alternatives but these.”
A Course In Miracles
So if you are tangled up in something that’s got your spiritual mojo crossed and you feel confusion, doubt, regret, any form fear my take, try to write it out as a letter from your Higher Self to your ego (fear).
Give the Voice a voice in your journal or on your blog or just get into it and use the comments section below here if you’d like, I’m totally cool with you diving in and hashing shit out right here while you are in the zone. This place is safe.
Find a wall. Find a typewriter. Find a blank space and fill it with the words your higher Self would offer your frightened, weak, terrified, brutal, attack-obsessed maniacal ego.
” . . . [ego] is an invader who but seems to offer kindness, but always to make the sacrifice complete.”
These two voices, though they appear to be at war, are not at war in truth because the battle is already fought and won by Love. Love needs not prove anything or defend anything. Which drives the ego mad. Raging, punching, fuming, kicking, foaming mad.
Love transcends all of this. Give Love a voice that you can sink your teeth into, that you can bleed into words and see and experience. Choose only words of strength, peace and forgiveness for yourself.
Come to see that every battle you imagine is only a battle within. Come to see that your confidence in Love will always be a problem for your ego.
You were built to disrupt and dismantle and disturb those parts of yourself that seem to hold you down.
Mess. With. Them. Hard.
Our spiritual journey is not about sitting back with our fingers (legs?) crossed hoping things will somehow turn out differently for us if we keep banging our crown chakras against the proverbial walls choosing from the same low energy place that gets us into trouble time after time after time.
A spiritual quest is about changing the game in favor of Love. It is about living, choosing, and acting from that higher expression, that higher place within.
Spiritual practice wouldn’t be needed (or difficult) if everything were perfect.
Spirituality is a choice and an action. It’s an energetic shift, an elevating of our minds and hearts to a higher expression of the love within.
As long as we are human we will experience the challenges of jealousy, attack and fear.
As long as we remember, call on and act from our divinity we will choose higher for ourselves and the collective.
Choose love. Change the (ego) game.
“In you are both the question and the answer; the demand for sacrifice and the peace of God.”
Now, then. Let us go be every clever, beautiful, powerful, breathtaking thing.
Give your ego a hard time. Make trouble for it, disrupt its crooked patterns and get about making love out loud instead.
Be not afraid, angel. Invite your Higher Self in and don’t forget your incredible power to choose Love and to win.
Welcome, welcome ego, you seductive bastard.
Looks like you have yourself a problem.
All content on this site is my own. Sharing with proper credit is always, always so greatly appreciated.