Author Archives: Allison Marie

About Allison Marie

Allison Marie Conway is the author of Vein (available now on Amazon) and the creator of Glory Begin Blog & Podcast. Her full body of work is focused on spirituality, sensuality, creativity and inspiration. Email Allison at glorybegin@gmail.com

Why Creative Freedom May Be Holding You Back

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There is something an artist does bravely, without asking and without being told.

There is no instruction manual on how to do this thing right or how to ensure it is “successful” by the world’s standards.

And yet just doing this one thing is reason enough for an artist to call himself a success.

It is the reason she does her most soulful, moving and beautiful creative work.

It’s happening now all across the world. You might be doing it.

In fact, I KNOW most of you are doing it (and doing it damn well, by the way, lovers, bravo).

What is this elusive thing the artist dares to do?

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How to Get the Love You Desire (Fast & Easy)

We have to do more.

Right? I mean, what we’ve done isn’t enough.

Right? Because we’re still lost and confused and aren’t exactly sure what we’re doing or should do next (quite possibly it’s chocolate, though, whatever the fuck it is).

On some existential level (and to sort of box up our random idiotic cravings and shove them under the proverbial bed) we simmer all this vague “needing” to do the “more” down to “needing more love.”

We seek for love.

Don’t we?

We look for love in everything – we want love from our family, our dog, our kids, our killer abs, our boy/girl/friend’s killer abs, our talent, our blog, our followers, our art, our sex, our fantasies, our work, our homes, our partner, our vibrator, our new haircut (no, you look so cute tho, seriously).

But love isn’t any of those things (okay, maybe we’re on the fence about the vibrator but let’s try to focus, kids).

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How Deep Is Your Love? The Art & Struggle of Surrender

We don’t want to give it all up.

As sexy as it sounds to surrender ourselves, we’re terrified of what it would mean to actually do it completely.

As lovely as it rolls across the mind to say we will surrender, we don’t often (ever?) intend to give up the struggle and inhabit the peace of mind we say we want.

It’s just not that easy.

What if I invited you to consider that this poem . . .

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How to MAJORLY Build Your Self-Confidence by Doing This ONE Badass Thing

Right, so we’ll get to building your sexy ass confidence in just a second, good friend.

First tho, here’s a fun trick to try if you’d like to test your creative confidence; publish a blog post about erotica, get everybody all seduced and lathered up, and then come back a week later and publish another blog post.

About anything.

About anything else.

Post about something else – after riffing about touching and stroking and fingering – and expect anyone to give a shit about what could possibly come after all that goodness.

I hear you. I know. But never fear, my love. I’ve got you. I am not afraid.

I have something even hotter to talk about this week, if you can possibly fathom that (I realize a blogger with any sense at all would be concerned about deliberately stacking this kind of dangerous pyramid scheme of expectations but nobody’s here to play it safe, I sincerely hope).

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Erotica: Finding Pleasure in the Essential Art of Touch

Fair warning, lovers: This one will be very different from the others. (Are you reading this at the office, by the way? Because you might not want to be reading this at the office. But then again, maybe you really do.)

Consistency is divine but so is disruption. So is surprise.

This post is not about how to’s or fixing or changing anything. It’s about feeling.

Feeling. Everything.

Feeling, it seems to me, is a precious and increasingly scarce form of artistry. People are numbed out all over the damn place trying to avoid feelings of pain but also, in more cases than we seem to realize, trying to avoid feelings of good honest organic pleasure (because, you know, the guilt and the guilt and the guilt and everything – and then there’s the guilt).

Odd things, we.

Maybe it’s better (more accurate? more tragic?) to say that avoiding our feelings has become a twisted art form in itself.

Somehow, in these overcharged, overstimulating, hyper-sexed times, we end up numb and ashamed when all we really crave is to be touched and awakened.

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3 Ways to Start Doing the Work You REALLY Want To Do

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Allison Marie for glorybegin.com

A weird thing happens to otherwise normal people when we attempt to level with each other about work.

People seem to act like if they were to start doing the work they truly loved, other people will think they are colossally selfish / stupid / immature and begin throwing themselves out of seven story buildings or lighting themselves on fire in protest.

We act like if we want to be artists we’ll need to prove we’re “allowed” by only doing what we long to do as a “nice hobby” or in a damp cellar by dank (dank?) candlelight where no one has to see us in all our crazy.

We seem to think that if we were to work on something that we totally dig, this may simultaneously cause our families to implode, our lovers to walk out, our children to disown us, our very physical security to be threatened by some invisible bully.

We think we don’t deserve it. We think they can’t handle it. We think it has to be a big fucking deal and we’ll need to ceremonially trade in everything we’ve earned in our entire lives up to this point in exchange for the right to pursue our creative passions.

But you know what actually happens to us and to other people when we finally dare to start working on our dream?

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The Realest Way to Keep Sh*t Real In Art & Life (Really for Real)

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Allison Marie for glorybegin.com

Incredibly, there’s still a lot of noise on the interwebs about being “authentic” and “keeping shit real” in our lives, in our work, in our relationships, in our swim suits, in our Instagram galleries.

(By the way, whomever started #nofilter, I’m starting #damnrightitsfiltered. If I wanted everything to look like it does on any given pimple-faced Wednesday I’d still be wearing jelly bracelets stacked to my elbows and using those trashable wind-up cameras from the 90’s while getting way over excited that they take pictures underwater now! Stop it. Everything should look like a classic black and white Humphrey Bogart film.)

Of course, some of the noise about keeping shit real comes from yours truly, mind you, so the irony that I’m calling us out on it is not lost on me.  Smug-Allison-Marie is even a little proud of that noise because it’s important noise to be making (she believes).

But somewhere amidst the chaotic weirdness of $5 selfie-sticks and $zilliondollar celebrity, we seem to have confused “being real” with being loud, obnoxious, rude, disrespectful, ignorant, and in an obscene number of cases . . . NOT REAL.

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How to Stop Being Jealous & Rock Your Own Life

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Allison Marie for glorybegin.com

So two things right off the top: #1 I’m not talking about jealousy in this post (WTF?) and #2 I’m fully aware that exactly no one wants to talk about shit like this (hence the trickery, but let me explain).

Shit like what, you may well demand to know since I’ve just confessed to the old bait-and-switch title of a blog post which may or may not land me on the wrong side of the tracks with WordPress / Google / Nick Jonas.

It turns out that although we most often think of ourselves as struggling with jealousy (where did you even come from, Nick Jonas?) what we actually struggle with, technically, is envy.

“In this country, we use the words “jealousy” and “envy” as synonyms but they are not.
Envy is the feeling of wanting what someone else has. The linguistic root is from the Latin invidia which is connected to the modern word ‘invidious.’
Jealousy is the feeling of wanting to protect what is yours. The linguistic root is from the Latin zelos which is connected to the modern word ‘zealous’.”

But the thing is, no one Googles envy for the same reason no one Googles sloth. (If you do though? The “medium-sized mammal” comes first with adorable photos; the “deadly sin” comes in second. Go figure.)

Lazy sounds like a thing we should probably work on but also feels like fuzzy socks. Sloth sounds like one of both of us should be roaming ancient Jerusalem sacrificing our livestock when shit hits the proverbial fan.

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How to Find Your Authentic Voice

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Hello, gorgeous – would you come closer for a sec?  Sssshhh come come come closer closer closer . . . I have a secret to tell you.

Oh. Yes. ;)

Actually, I have 43 secrets. (*politely checks wrist where watch would be if anyone wore watches anymore now that Fitbits are apparently every sick thing in an ever-expanding arsenal of sick digital things all diligently calculating a million new ways to remind me that I haven’t done enough today*)

Don’t sweat it though, babe, these secrets are fast and they are powerful if you listen tight.

You see, secret friend, I have been secretly working up to this secret blog post, secretly, over the past secret six weeks.

In secret.

As in: drenched and soaked and sealed and locked in secret. Total sexy punk wizardry; total ninja stealth warrior hidden in plain sight.

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The B.S. Question That’s Keeping You from Doing What You Love

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You know how some people have to clean their entire kitchen / office / living room / patio / house / dog house / bird house / neighbor’s house before they will finally just sit down and start doing their creative work?

Yeah.

I’m not one of those people. (Nor do these people ever seem to live next door to me, proving that no good will ever come of this kind of neurosis.)

I can write with a messy kitchen / teetering piles of papers / tipping stacks of half-read books / vases full of but-they’re-so-arty-though dead flowers / unwashed dishes (… you guys can’t actually see me, right?) doing their unkempt thing all around me.

I can write through the Apocalypse.  (Done it, actually – see how that turned out here. Spoiler alert.)

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Dear Ego, You Seductive Bastard

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I will always be a problem for you.

Because I will always get back up.

And I will get stronger every time.

I will always choose love over and over again.

But you never count on this do you, baby?

Even after all the times we’ve gone around and around.

I will always forgive myself.

I will always forgive you.

I will always forgive them.

I will always pay attention.

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Just Don’t Call Me Tribe

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I believe in people.

I believe in the power of the individual and I believe in the power of the community.

Deeply, I do.

I believe in the power of ideas and the sheer penetrating force of a collective movement toward a higher consciousness. I believe people come together when they are meant to come together by the energy of values and ideals that matter sincerely to them.

This is sacred; this is work; this is precious.

I want to connect and I want to converse. I want to elevate and listen and understand and offer what I have.

And then I want to be left alone to my thoughts and my soul and my creative process so that I can come back again when I’m ready to engage from a centered place of authenticity, strength, clarity, balance and truth.

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{Podcast} The Nasty Habit That’s Destroying Your Kick Ass Creative Edge

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The light is dim.

The candles are dancing for each other and all is quiet.

You are the only person in the room.

But you’re not alone.

Because you can’t break the filthy habit you don’t know you have. You can’t stop the insanity if you don’t know how it started.

I’m on the other side of it now and I can’t even tell you what a huge difference kicking this habit has made in my writing and in my life.

Come now, that’s a ridiculous thing to say. I have a podcast and I CAN tell you.

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How to Make Love Out Loud

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I’m not asking you to disassemble your life.

I’m not asking you to live on the street or give your last dime to charity or replace your dark roast coffee with decaf (in fact, if decaf coffee is ever mentioned on this blog again: someone else is writing this blog).

I’m not asking you to somehow figure out a way to make up for what you didn’t do or could have done or should have done or should be doing now.

I’m not asking you to change houses or partners or jobs or religions or toothpaste.

But I am asking you.

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The Simple Secret to Killer Creative Confidence

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There’s something you’re dying to try but people like you don’t do stuff like that.

You’d love to explore a sensual, strange side of yourself but it’s been mysteriously roped off. (For your safety and the safety of the other patrons, you are asked to stay behind the partition.)

You want to touch something that’s just out of reach but, my god, you swear you can taste it.

You can’t see it, though, because it’s plastered in signs that push you away: DO NOT TOUCH.

It’s forbidden because of who you believe you are.

It’s forbidden because of who you think they think you are.

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One True Thing

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You’ll either find this to be the toughest or the easiest thing in the world to do.

If things get brilliantly bizarre – which they totally might so, I beg of you, please don’t rule that crazy goodness out – you’ll find it to be both at the same time.

There’s a lot of noise right now about resolutions and this new year being the most “fucktabulous” or whatever the latest punchy catch word is but experience has proven that until the year actually ends itself, there’s no sure way to tell what in the confetti is about to drop.

A proper year takes its grand old time undressing and I don’t know about you but I can’t wait that long to see if when I turn around my life in retrospect had been fuckalicious. I mean, who could possibly predict how many other fucksational ways we’ll have come up with to use curse words on kitschy cocktail napkins by then ( . . . wait for it . . . ).

But there is something that could rock your world right this minute even if the rest of the year falls to hell in a fiery hand basket. Continue reading

{Podcast} 3 Ways to Bring On the Hardcore Love We Need Right Now

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Some of what I talk about in this final podcast episode for the year was hard to say.  Hard to admit and yet at the same time, hard to hold in.

People don’t talk about some of this stuff and I think that’s a mistake. We need to be real in order to be love.  And heaven knows we need the love to shine bigger and brighter than ever these days.

My humble intention with this episode was to remind us all of three empowering things:

#1 Our authentic connection to the love within is the single most important gift we have. I offer a specific way for us to get back to that love space right now.  And sustain it.

#2 We all lose our way.  (I did.)  We can always, always, always come back.  (I’m here.)

#3 It’s time to majorly detox from the negative energy that does not serve our highest selves.  I share in blissful, bloody detail exactly how I’m going to be doing this over the next two weeks. :)

Ready, babes?  Cool, here we go.  Listen in and let me know what you think:

 

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How the Artist Saves the World

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It’s before dawn on an inky black morning in late November.  A sudden slap of thunder collapses over me, slamming the hairs on my neck straight up.

And I know in this fear-strangled moment. The Apocalypse is upon us.

In hindsight, I’m sorry I didn’t alert you guys but to be fair we’ve not yet exchanged phone numbers (it’s not you, it’s me) and I have a dysfunctional relationship with Facebook right now.

But we all damn near perished at approximately 05:14:00 Eastern Standard Time last Tuesday. And at some point on Wednesday. And a couple of times over the weekend (the weekend details are still sketchy; I may have passed out more than once).

We’re still here, though, thank the sexy buddhas, and do you know why?

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How to Write Like Sex and Dance on a Pinhead

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You think you know a person, right. And then she pulls some random shit like this on you.

What is happening right now. You’d like to know. I bet.

You think you know yourself.

You think you know all there is to know inside what you already know and then you got comfortable there.

I’d like to disrupt you for a second, babe, if that’s cool. Because while you are warm and snuggled there in the chaise lounge corner of your punchy Ikea Nockeby sectional, your mind is getting dull and your face is pulling sunken and your beautiful, beautiful wild spirit is growing stupid-restless.

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It’s Already Happening

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You think you’re waiting.

But it’s already happening.

All in your favor.

All of it. All of the energy that never lets up, every prick of the slicing rain and scorch of the driving winds.

The accidents. The encounters. The signs.

Everything that’s happening is unfolding inside a perfect pattern of deliberate chaos.

Even as you hang your steely head upon its crooked neck.

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